Author Archives: James


(or …Yet…) I want to change but…. I did this really well but… Everything is great but… When you say ‘but’ in the middle of a sentence, everything you say before the ‘but’ is discounted, think about it.. What are you saying … Continue reading

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Paradoxical Theory of Change

Aside from having an excellent name this theory is one of the most important in Gestalt and other therapies, regardless of what they choose to call it… It basically suggests that one cannot change something unless one first becomes aware of it … Continue reading

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Good Enough

From the work of Donald Winnicott, the good enough parent allows their child to grow at its own pace, supporting when necessary. Giving the child a feeling of being gently supported rather than dropped. This allows the child to feel … Continue reading

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Topdog vs. Underdog

The top dog is the part of a person that requires that person adheres to societies standards, similarly to introjects this required adherence is often distinguished by “shoulds”, “oughts”, “musts” etc. The underdog is the part of the person that makes excuses … Continue reading

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Gestalt Me?

While reading a book a few days ago I noticed that the author Brené Brown kept mentioning her blog which is about being authentic and courageous. I also couldn’t help noticing all the little sticky tags sticking out of the … Continue reading

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